Monday, January 10, 2011

Day 3 30 Days of Truth

Day 03 — Something you have to forgive yourself for.

"Forgiveness. It's more than saying sorry. I'm sorry. To forgive is divine, so let's have a glass of wine and have make-up sex 'til the end of time..." Quote courtesy of Anna Faris in Just Friends.

There are probably many things that I should learn to forgive myself for, but there is one that I carry with me and am often reminded of. My brother and sister recently turned 21, they are a little less than eleven years younger than me.

I moved out of the house when I was 17, they were around 6 years old. I wanted to get out and do my own thing. I visited them often, babysat even, but I feel like I missed a lot of them growing up. Right around then is when our family had a lot of rough things going on and I should have been there more for them. I should have protected them from the situations they had to go through. They moved around alot and went through some really hard times. When they moved about two hours away, our visits were fewer and far between.

When they were 12, they moved back here and I put a lot of effort into being a part of their lives. My sister is truly my best friend. We talk almost everyday and spend time together watching movies or trying out new recipes, generally hanging out once a week. While this makes me extremely happy, it also makes me feel a bit guilty as my relationship with my brother is less close. There have been circumstances that have made it difficult for us to maintain our relationship, but I'm putting effort into returning it to what it once was.

I need to forgive myself for being away from them. They have turned into fantastic people that I'm happy to know and love.

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